YOU are beautiful

There’s a healthy balance between wanting complements and needing complements. Of course, ladies, we try our very best to look nice, especially when trying to impress someone. Those are the times when we really hope someone will call us beautiful, because of our effort!

Other times, we can look at someone and think ‘She is so effortlessly beautiful…it’s not fair!’. This is unhealthy and dangerous. It draws the focus too closely onto ourselves and what our flaws are. In actual fact, portraying confidence and happiness with who you are, whether you’ve spent hours preparing for a fancy dinner or if you just got up out of bed, beauty is internal!

I know how it feels to think you’re not beautiful. I often catch myself with those thoughts and end up feeling dreadful about myself. It’s because I compare myself with others. “She gets complimented all the time and she doesn’t even realise how lucky she is!” “She doesn’t even try with her hair…I try really hard” etc etc

As you can see, that isn’t making me feel good at ALL. I am confident that every girl, no matter who they are, goes through these same thought processes every now and then.

But the main thing to remember is that it shouldn’t rely upon how many people compliment you or even the clothes that you wear. Material and external beauty is fleeting, as sad as it is to admit that. Miranda Kerr will not always look the way she does.

The bright side is that someone who practices happiness, kindness, grace, love and compassion will remain beautiful forever. Whether they’re 18 or 80, people will recognise something truly extraordinary within them, like a diamond in the water.

 

So…my friends…if you need to feel beautiful, you should. Because you are.

“Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one out there more youer than you!” – Dr. Seuss

And you ARE beautiful.

 

Always,

Alice

The biggest issue of all

So that you are forewarned, this post was very hard for me to write as I found myself becoming increasingly emotional whilst trying to get the words down. I hope, in some way, I have conveyed the deeper meaning and pressing importance of what I have written to you. 

 

Yesterday night I was out in the city with my dad for dinner. We enjoyed a leisurely evening and weren’t troubled by the bill, crowds of people, slightly chilly air or increasing darkness. On our way back to the train I encountered something that blew everything out of proportion.

In Victoria (I’m not sure how much of Australia has this program) there is an initiative that works alongside homeless and disadvantaged people that allows them to sell copies of a magazine, ‘The Big Issue’, and retain half of the profits they make. Basically, its allowing them a chance to get themselves on their feet and become responsible for their journey out of desperation. I have always found it extremely admirable and supported it at any opportunity I could.

Back to last night.

As we were walking out of the alleyway where our restaurant was, I noticed a man in an electric wheelchair with a sign hanging off it advertising the Big Issue magazine. We quickly overtook him and I turned around to notice that he couldn’t have been more than 30 years old and was extremely physically and mentally disabled.

My heart broke.

I stopped my dad and pulled out the $20 note I’d taken with me that day, intending to get the $14 change from the vendor. As I approached and indicated my intentions of buying a magazine, the man tried desperately to communicate that I had to get my own change from the bag hanging around his neck.

He did not have the capacity to move his arms to give me the change I required. On top of that, he struggled to form the words to communicate with me this information. I could sense his agitation within himself, and his overwhelming desperation.

I decided to leave him my change and took the magazine from the bag on his lap. Before I left I told him that I’d given him the change and I wished him a really good night, smiling as much as I could and touching him on the shoulder. Words cannot express the utter joy in his face as he said “Thank you”. Never before have those words carried such sincerity or genuine happiness. And never before have I felt so impacted by them.

Turning around and rejoining with my dad, I burst into tears.

So many questions flooded into my mind. Does he have somewhere to go tonight? Will someone be there to look after him? What happens if some heartless idiot decides to rob him? He’s defenceless. 

I still, to this moment, cannot get his face out of my mind. That raw humanity, untainted by pride or the pursuit of perfection that we all seem to be so consumed by. Here was a man, with barely the ability to look after himself, doing everything possible to bring himself up out of the ground.

I guess I could explain it as one of those pivotal moments. People often speak about the time when poverty really started to mean something to them.

I thought it had happened in Fiji, or when I’d done a lot of research into World Vision. But in actual fact, the realisation of the prevalence of poverty and in our own country hit me much harder than I ever imagined it would. Especially when faced with the reality of people like the man I met last night, disabled and defenceless, living out on the streets.

I’m still unsure of how this new perspective will work into my life, or what I will do with it, but if anyone is reading this who is faced with the opportunity to look beyond the appearance or circumstances of a homeless person and start asking themselves the hard questions…I encourage you to look for sympathy, compassion and gentleness in your own heart.

Try to leave the world a better place than when you arrived. – Sidney Sheldon

 

Alice

Fear

I was planning on writing a post about everything that’s making me feel fear…I actually drafted it and then deleted it straight away, mainly because I didn’t see the point in validating my fears.

So instead, I wanted to take a different approach and try and get my thoughts down on how to combat fear.

It’s such a natural human instinct, we’re perfectly designed to respond to potentially threatening situations in a way that will most benefit us, and it’s my belief that this “fight or flight” response is an incredible tool in our daily survival. But social and emotional evolution over the years suggests that it’s now snowballed into a more prevalent and debilitating form of fear, that comes as anxiety or depression. These can sometimes be brought on by irrational things…things we really shouldn’t be so afraid of!

If there’s one thing that I’ve learned over the short life I’ve already lived, it’s that fear can consume you if you allow it to. That’s the unfortunate truth.

But on top of that, I’ve learned that it is possible to develop ways of overcoming this tendency to fear.

Life shouldn’t be full of garden paths and marshmallow clouds…life should be full of challenges and marathons…that’s what makes us who we are!

Diamonds cannot be made unless you apply heat and pressure. We can’t be expected to face the fire and not take on the fear that accompanies it. One has to come with the other. That’s inevitable.

Perhaps you’re questioning where this is going…the plain and simple message that I want to get across is that fear and difficulty isn’t subjective…everyone experiences it! Whether you’re wealthy or poor, young or old, white or black, religious or not…it’s going to happen. After all, when you get past the skin and bones, we’re all human. In fact, our skin and bones are made of the same things!
Biology (although it’s one of the things I’m currently fearful of) has opened my eyes to the incredible fact that everything….EVERYTHING is made up of four things. Guanine, Thyamine, Adenine and Cytosine. The nitrogenous bases of our DNA.

That should set aside your fears of discrimination and racism…what’s the point? Just because the genes for my skin colour is expressed differently to that of someone living in Africa doesn’t make either of us any less of a person!

Fear doesn’t look at your DNA though..it doesn’t care about your circumstances. It’s like light in a way; light doesn’t choose who it will shine on, nor does oxygen deny some people the right to breathe!

This shouldn’t be freaking you out (hopefully)…all I’m trying to convey is that you’re not alone…and you shouldn’t be afraid of fear. Take the bull by the horns, or so to speak…I’m not sure I ever want to take a literal bull by the horns…

but on top of that…learn to appreciate and love each other for our faults, differences and independence. We’re made of the same stuff, but we should rejoice in our unique abilities.

 

Until soon,

Alice

From the ashes

Today, my parents and I took a drive up to a place called Marysville. It’s located in rural Victoria and to get there, you have to drive through ethereal landscape. 

Despite the sleepy little town and the magnificent scenery, the most incredible thing about this place was the history. 

In 2009, Marysville was practically obliterated in massive fires that ravaged across much of outback Victoria. Photos hung in cafes and shops of what remained after the devastation, but each person had their own story to tell about how they rose out of the ashes and rebuilt.

It gave me a lot of Hope..particularly because I’m in a situation currently where I feel fogged and hopeless to the future. Not only did these people come from having happiness and success to absolute ruin, but they have enhanced their experiences to become more grateful and joyous to the world around them. 

 

I’m sure there’s a multitude of quotes that I could insert here that would fit perfectly…however I decided to give my own one a go;

After a fire we can choose to mourn the passing of a great tree…or be blessed by the birth of new sprouts

Until soon,

Alice

World vision photos

 

Mozambique injustice

A German photographer and activist, Gregor Zielke, recently published photos and an article on the resettlement of many families living in Mozambique. The article itself was empowering, but one thing in particular stood out to me. 

When asked “how do you aspire to influence political debates with your work?” he responded with…

My aim is simply to put faces to the displaced communities, to show that the big companies are not moving around figures and a nameless “population”. They have names, they are mothers, fathers, grandparents and kids, all they want is to raise their families. That’s not asking much, is it?

 

Alice, 

‘The Impossible’

Immediately upon seeing this incredible movie, I knew I had to write about it.

How though, can someone write on something that leaves them so speechless? Throughout the movie, I was either in tears, holding my breath, cringing in horror or in awe of the beauty of it all. Never before has a movie been able to leave me as this one did. Still in shock 30 minutes later, I was in the process of really thinking about what I had seen, and how it had impacted me.

The underlying message that really stood out to me was that in the times when all hope seems lost and when your worst nightmare turns into a reality, the human heart has every opportunity to show compassion and love. People reaching out to absolute strangers in acts of support…I honestly even now find it difficult to find the words to say.

The most powerful part, for me, was the sudden realisation that this movie was based on a true story of survival. That the family still lives today and had to live through such a terrifying experience.

That thousands of other families had to go through the same thing.

That so many people were lost.

That so many families were torn apart.

So much loss.

So much pain.

However…so much hope.

Surely in those instances, we can only hold onto the saying, “the night is darkest before the dawn”.

In conclusion, this movie is a must see. I believe it will go down in history alongside the likes of ‘The Titanic’.

I cannot put words to such a magnificent film as this…all I can say is I am so grateful for life, and the opportunity to live safely. I am awed by the human heart and it’s will to survive. I am truly humbled.

Money money money money money!

Ah…I’m not even old enough to legally drive a car by myself and I’m already stressing about how in the world I’m going to afford one!
Of course, everyone always says that in order for you to succeed in life you should take little steps at a time and not worry about the future…but it’s really hard to when you begin to realise that owning a car isn’t the only expense you’ll be dealing with. House, job, food, rent, family, travel, healthcare, the list goes on!
For some reason though, it’s when your forced to give up something that you really love that money becomes your biggest enemy.

Learning to deal with disappointment is difficult. No matter who you are or how rich you are…it sucks! Literally having to take a step back and tell yourself that it’s “too much” isn’t an easy step to make.

Near the end of last year, my mum and I had become pretty set on going to Kenya on a missions trip. It’s something we’d both wanted to do for a very long time, and it seemed entirely achievable. The funds were glanced over and we already started to plan how we would get time off school for me, and how dad would go on his own for a couple of weeks. It was only after a month or so that my mum first started realising how hard it was going to be on the family to have to pay such an exorbitant amount of money that we just couldn’t risk putting toward the trip. When I was confronted about this, I not only felt betrayed and angry, but I felt like I was letting down a whole heap of people who were on board with my trip. My school had offered their support and my group of friend were more than willing to help me fundraise and spread awareness. I’d worked myself into this state of mind where nothing would stop me going to Kenya, nothing. And then reality came pelting down on our heads as subtle as a sledgehammer.

We just can’t afford it.

Not because it wasn’t a worthwhile trip, but that the money earned by my father needed to go toward bills and mortgage and cars and food and family and this and that and the other…. It was really heartbreaking.

The first few weeks I admit I was in denial. I drew up plans about how I was going to make the money for the deposit in a small number of months. I was sure I’d have a part time job before Christmas, and I was confident that I could maintain a budget that would get me over the red line.

Sadly, life doesn’t always work like that. The hours I spent searching for work, both online and in person, didn’t pay off. My family had to cut down majorly on spending so that we could reach our bill payments, and we had to live life pretty carefully so that we could sustain ourselves comfortably, as well as ensuring my parents had a future.

The hardest part was seeing my friends with jobs, earning money and saving money and spending money. I knew that if  I had the chance I would be saving every penny I earned and putting it toward this trip that I so desperately felt myself being called to. However it gave me quite a wake up call.

We are taught that when life gets us down, we are to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and find a way to press forward. Sure…I might not be able to go to Kenya this year, and it might be difficult for the next few months with the awkward “actually…i’m not going anymore” speeches, but that hasn’t stopped my determination. There’s no rule that says if I can’t afford it now I won’t afford it in a year, or two years. There’s nothing that stops me from actively working in my immediate community and supporting other friends who are going on missions of their own.

For anyone out there who has had to give something up because of the issue of money, I encourage you not to loose heart. The more you strive for your dreams, the better it will feel when you catch them!

Alice

 

A teaspoon of sugar might now be irrelevant…

As the modern world advances, we can find it increasingly difficult to rely on the merry old tune sung by Miss Poppins, or even any old tune for that fact. Children aren’t valuing the important stories in classic movies or old fairytales, and are unfortunately becoming more consumed in technology and media. All around the world, but especially in developed countries, we have an epidemic of sad kids growing up to be sad and unequipped adults.

It’s scientifically proven that more time spent on computers and a virtual reality and less time spent interacting with other people can lead to serious mental health issues such as depression. However it also causes a massive lack of “people skills”, as one might say.

I’ll admit, I’m not perfect and there’s been many times when I’ve found myself seriously unhappy without truly understanding why. Amazingly, when visiting villages in Fiji that were massively underdeveloped and had a lack of basically everything I was used to in my comfortable western life, I was hard pressed to find one person suffering from sadness. Their vivacity and love of life was astonishing and difficult to understand, however it was also incredibly infectious. When I think back to my time spent there and all the people I met and bonded with, I have nothing but admiration for their spirit and energy.

Arriving home was a difficult shift, coming from a place where it would only take you 5 minutes to know everyone within the town to a place where people don’t even want to look at you, let alone know you are. I found myself slipping back into the routine of my previous existence.

And it’s hit me pretty hard.

There are people out there who find it hard to be unhappy. They just seem to possess some kind of internal switch that is forever on the “glass half full” side. The truth is, they’ve learnt to just take their life and their situations as they come, and through that they’ve discovered how to give themselves the key to happiness.

I may not be an expert, but I’ve come up with a few ideas that I think are the universal cure for our never-ending sadness.

Number 1: Why surround yourself with people who make you unhappy? It can be difficult to admit to yourself that who you’ve associated yourself with aren’t exactly the best kinds of people. Perhaps they have different opinions to you, or they just get on your nerves. Whatever the reason is, there’s no justification for prolonging your suffering. What will happen (and I can guarantee it) is that you’ll begin to fall into a routine, conform and end up exactly what you said you’d never be. Separating yourself from situations where you’re not feeling good is not only a good idea, it’s the right idea.

Number 2: Alone time is good….but you also need someone to trust. Believe me, I have trust issues. I might have a group of close friends but I find it hard telling them things that are really getting me down. I have always told myself I never want to appear a burden, but I only end up burdening myself.
The worst possible option is to keep it all inside yourself, the next worst is to just blurt it out to someone you don’t really know all that well, straight after that is telling everyone you know. So as you can see…there’s a loooooot of wrong options when it comes to this. However it really isn’t that hard to pick someone you feel close to, spend time investing in your relationship with them, and maybe in time you’ll have a mutual trust that allows you to talk about things together. The probability is they’ll thank you for it too, everyone needs a shoulder to lean on.

Number 3: Find a “thing”. Everyone needs a “thing”. Something that they love that totally doesn’t need an explanation. You might have this secret love for knitting tea cosies…can’t explain it? Neither can the people who religiously watch NCIS… but who really cares? These things make up who you are, and your individuality is the greatest attribute. You never know what you might find by pursuing what you truly love, happiness…like minded people…skills…love?

Number 4: Don’t withhold. I think these days, people are scared to laugh at themselves, or even other people. If you find something funny. Laugh. If you see something you want to participate in. Do it. If you want to tell someone they’re special to you. Go for it!

Wouldn’t you hate to look back on your life and realise you missed a great opportunity because fear held you back?

Number 5: Pass it on. Making other people happy is bound to make you happy in the process. If you have no one to teach, teach your dogs. Teach your kids. Teach your little sister. Teach your parents. Teach your co-workers. Teach yourself.
We have the means to give the greatest gift possible to so many people, and it’s about time we started giving it.

Any feedback would be greatly appreciated…keep smiling…there’s no reason why you can’t be happy!

A diary entry

A while ago, on the plane to Fiji, I wrote a diary entry that I think deserves to be made public.

4/11/12

We are currently on the plane to Fiji, reality is setting in and our excitement has begun to rise. As the plane lifted off, I made a silent prayer to leave all stress, anxiety and worry behind, so as to truly gain the best possible experience whilst away. My anticipation for the next 12 days is high, and i’m really challenging myself to step out of my comfort zone and see what impact I can make on those around me. The flight doesn’t have movie entertainment, so it has given me the perfect chance to settle into my book ‘Hope’ by Tim Costello, rest my eyes and ponder the true reasons for my journey. Truthfully speaking I’m still unsure what to expect and i wonder whether I’ve set my expectations too high. Many times I think that maybe my place in the world doesn’t involve what I think it does, but then I remember just how much of a change small things can have. Faith, and Hope. The Tim Costello book i’ve been reading has been incredibly thought provoking and most importantly very encouraging. Tim has found his way into a position where he witnesses miracles, compassion and hope constantly. His stories provide real evidence that the world is willing and able to accept change, and that beneath our tough exteriors, stubborn traditions and seemingly immovable ego’s, we are all humans who have the ability to relate and empathise with one another. We all have basic needs, and in times when we find ourselves in strife, we turn to each other in search of comfort and acceptance. 

One of the chapters in Tim’s book outlined perfectly an issue I’ve constantly grappled with. He states that wealth cannot always be the cure for the poverty “problem” and that poverty isn’t always a lack of wealth. When we scratch beneath the surface, we discover that communities with considerably less than we do are far more rich in things such as togetherness, happiness, community and compassion. Where our western world was once so adept in communicating and socialising on the public forum, it has rapidly been replaced with means of social media and general solitary lifestyles. Conversely, communities unaffected by economic growth and technological advancement appear to have still clung to their traditions and values passed down from generations. Perhaps it means that we have a lot to give materially  but we could learn a big lesson from those less fortunate people also. 

Personally, it has not only consolidated the reality of this paradox, but it’s encouraged me to pursue a life more connected, more valued and dedicated to passing down a passion for being involved. I know I want to bring my own children up in an environment where they feel appreciated and valued as individuals, but also where they can reciprocate this to their immediate community and beyond. Through true, honest, traditional means.

Most of all, i know I’ll have a lot to learn from those around me, and I look forward to seeing how this culture shift an impact my mindset and opinions. 

 

I’ve returned to this post on many occasions, re-living what I was feeling at that time. Truth be told, the trip was nothing like what I’d expected it to be, but I suppose that’s the way it goes.

In a way, I’ve set a challenge for myself by writing those things, to keep a check on how I live my life and my daily routines. In years I might return to that exact diary and who knows what I’ll think then.

However, all that being said, I encourage you to take those words, read that chapter in Tim’s book or reflect on the way that you live right now. It’s never too late to reassess what your life is doing. Take inspiration from those around you and mould it into who you want to be.

Most of all….