Money money money money money!

Ah…I’m not even old enough to legally drive a car by myself and I’m already stressing about how in the world I’m going to afford one!
Of course, everyone always says that in order for you to succeed in life you should take little steps at a time and not worry about the future…but it’s really hard to when you begin to realise that owning a car isn’t the only expense you’ll be dealing with. House, job, food, rent, family, travel, healthcare, the list goes on!
For some reason though, it’s when your forced to give up something that you really love that money becomes your biggest enemy.

Learning to deal with disappointment is difficult. No matter who you are or how rich you are…it sucks! Literally having to take a step back and tell yourself that it’s “too much” isn’t an easy step to make.

Near the end of last year, my mum and I had become pretty set on going to Kenya on a missions trip. It’s something we’d both wanted to do for a very long time, and it seemed entirely achievable. The funds were glanced over and we already started to plan how we would get time off school for me, and how dad would go on his own for a couple of weeks. It was only after a month or so that my mum first started realising how hard it was going to be on the family to have to pay such an exorbitant amount of money that we just couldn’t risk putting toward the trip. When I was confronted about this, I not only felt betrayed and angry, but I felt like I was letting down a whole heap of people who were on board with my trip. My school had offered their support and my group of friend were more than willing to help me fundraise and spread awareness. I’d worked myself into this state of mind where nothing would stop me going to Kenya, nothing. And then reality came pelting down on our heads as subtle as a sledgehammer.

We just can’t afford it.

Not because it wasn’t a worthwhile trip, but that the money earned by my father needed to go toward bills and mortgage and cars and food and family and this and that and the other…. It was really heartbreaking.

The first few weeks I admit I was in denial. I drew up plans about how I was going to make the money for the deposit in a small number of months. I was sure I’d have a part time job before Christmas, and I was confident that I could maintain a budget that would get me over the red line.

Sadly, life doesn’t always work like that. The hours I spent searching for work, both online and in person, didn’t pay off. My family had to cut down majorly on spending so that we could reach our bill payments, and we had to live life pretty carefully so that we could sustain ourselves comfortably, as well as ensuring my parents had a future.

The hardest part was seeing my friends with jobs, earning money and saving money and spending money. I knew that if  I had the chance I would be saving every penny I earned and putting it toward this trip that I so desperately felt myself being called to. However it gave me quite a wake up call.

We are taught that when life gets us down, we are to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and find a way to press forward. Sure…I might not be able to go to Kenya this year, and it might be difficult for the next few months with the awkward “actually…i’m not going anymore” speeches, but that hasn’t stopped my determination. There’s no rule that says if I can’t afford it now I won’t afford it in a year, or two years. There’s nothing that stops me from actively working in my immediate community and supporting other friends who are going on missions of their own.

For anyone out there who has had to give something up because of the issue of money, I encourage you not to loose heart. The more you strive for your dreams, the better it will feel when you catch them!

Alice